I have a thing for depending on my intestines for life advice.
Many times I "feel" I've prayed only to realize I was just thinking internally. I usually realize this when Marcie asks me.
Gut Instinct is a useful feature of human existence but it can only do so much. Here's why:
#1. Gut Instinct is Influenced by Trauma
Most humans experience trauma.
When we have trauma our psyche takes a mental picture. A massively thorough mental picture that includes colors, sounds, smells, and body language. I'm calling it a "Comprehensive Sensory Data Read."
We are most sensitive to these during our childhood. Childhood is when our mind is programmed to assume anything bad is a consequence for our misbehavior.
After our subconscious stores the Comprehensive Sensory Data Read (CSDR) it files all the information as "Potential Danger." Common elements become "Triggers."
Why did the lavender walls wig me out? Triggers. Why does iron grip my esophagus anytime someone asks me "hey can I talk to you for a second?" Triggers.
While our gut-instinct can be right on track, it is also influenced by our mental-emotional history.
#2. Gut Instinct is Influenced by Fear
Something else happens when we live with unprocessed trauma. Our subconscious is now on the look out for "attack," aka we live in fear.
You ever pulse a blender with nothing in it? The knives are spinning but the container is empty. My intestines hate this feeling.
#3. Gut Instinct is Influenced by False Faith
Let me clarify this. I'm not saying we don't have faith. I'm not saying we don't believe in God.
I'm saying we have a false view of God.
I'm reading the book of Job right now. First time through the middle. Funny origin to this book...
God brags on Job to Satan:
"Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?"
What was that God? Let me see if I follow this narrative:
- You mention Job as the most righteous dude alive.
- Satan guffaws you, says it's only because Job has a ton of stuff
- You give Satan permission to ruin Job and kill his kids
And then there's Job's response ... which pretty much backs you up.
"Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said,
“I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!”
In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God."
So apparently Job really was a righteous dude. Why would God do that? Allow Satan to torment someone so faithful? Wait, let me ask that again...
"WHY WOULD GOD DO SOMETHING SO CRUEL TO SOMEONE WHO LOVED HIM???"
All I have is the Apostle Paul:
For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation!
For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.
We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.
And in case you think that's written lightly, Paul literally thought they were going to die. So what is the point exactly?
Why does God let His children suffer?
I can't say I know the answer.
All I know is that in the face of all my hurt God has been enough for me.
He was enough for Job.
Here's some more thoughts from Paul.
We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia.
We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.
In fact, we expected to die.
But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.
Did you read that?
"But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God"
This blog post is not intended to answer your questions.
I can't do that for you, I have enough of my own. What I can tell you is that God is enough.
We need to return to Him.
Much love friend,