~ ~ ~When I was 18, I got rejected auditioning for SAB, that is the School of American Ballet Summer Program. SAB is the only chance you have to get in the year round school ... which is your only chance to get into the company. You know ... the New York City Ballet? Eighteen is the cutoff. After that, no more chances. Ever. At the time I thought it was the worst thing in the world.
My dream of dancing with NYCB was dead.Fortunately, God gave my friend Catherine a glimpse of His purpose ...
"He seems to think what you do next year is important enough that He doesn't want to tempt you to choose the wrong place" "Maybe this is God's way of trying to get your attention and bring you back to your first love." "Remember, God knows what He's doing, And there's no way you could comprehend the wonder should He try to explain it to you."I was crushed. Already in the most devastating season of my life, I literally had no dreams, hopes, plans or vision of what my life was purposed for. I saw nothing in my future besides obedience to God's directive: take ballet lessons. I spent the next two years laying in bed at night sleeplessly trying to brainstorm my way out of the obvious fact that I am designed a ballerina. Even as I pestered God, myself, & my precious handful of friends about the real value of my artistic expression. There were a thousand other young beautiful dancers out there in the world, how could my soul possibly have anything to say compared with the likes of them? Even today I still wonder sometimes ... but much less than I used to. You see, I know how God created me now. It's not that I know exactly-forever-and-a-day who I'm to become because I'll be discovering myself in relationship with Christ in heaven for all eternity!
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So where am I going with this?
I am content.His word is a "lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105 I see enough of God's purpose & plan my friend alluded to that I don't need to fight against the pressures and ideas other people have for me & my life/talent/time/daydreaming ability.
That the spiritual realm of eternity is more real than anything else we could possibly see, feel or experience in this time-bound existence with it's chemical romance, broken desire for God and selfish endorphin addictions.
Living in the Inverse Dream means seeing the world more through God's eyes than your own.
That is the Inverse Dream.
It's a privilege to be here and a heartbreaking joy.
This is the amazing life with Jesus.