Genuine passion is awkward. When exhibited, real authentic passion sometimes elicits jealousy, envy and mockery. These are natural expressions from people dissatisfied and uncomfortable with their own lack of initiative. Perspective works similarly. Raw unexplained perspective causes alienation and frustration with those who can't see the same details and don't appreciate the world the same way. Oftentimes I laugh when no one else does because I see a correlation they don't. Thus I inspire social awkwardness. And I wonder why I find myself spending so much time alone. The truth is it takes a lot of effort to explain myself. And it takes a lot of patience to restrain my passion so I interact naturally with other people. Sometimes I don't feel like it's worth it, but that's another blog. Why am I writing this? I am a woman filled with passion. I can think of five things off the top of my head that when I divulge my perspective can cause me near to yelling. Oftentimes when I'm alone in my house that's exactly what I do. And yet I am required to engage other humans in a way that is respectful so I mostly keep my thoughts to myself until I can find ways to express them clearly. So I blog and vlog and make dancefilms and comedy videos and write stories and use cap locks on Twitter and do everything I can to try and SHOW people my perspective. Not that there's anything praise-worthy about me apart from Christ but when He shows me how He sees the world it makes me so passionate I can't help myself. I think that's the way it's supposed to be. It's very very expensive though. It's one thing for someone to understand what you're trying to say; it's another for someone to appreciate how much it costs you to say it. Take "Blue Dress" for instance. When I started talking to Fouad "Fred" Bou-Jaoude I didn't know anything about storytelling or film except what I'd seen in "LOTR making of" videos. I'd spent my entire life knowing I saw things differently but not understanding how or why. Fred understood my story well enough to film it and for the first time I had something with which to SHOW people my perspective. I struggle with pain the same as anybody else. But I also see it differently. "Blue Dress" is about dealing with pain. Blue Dress from Fouad Bou-Jaoude on Vimeo. The irony is that sometimes folks are so moved they don't have words to explain how. And then we are the same.