Rejection Anticipated

Neglect taints my vision. When I was young, I would paint my eyes with makeup to look like bruises. That is not the behavior of someone who sees value in themselves. While I don't use makeup like that anymore, I do still look for rejection.
I expect it.

From the impatient car on the interstate to the delayed text message / facebook reply to obsessing over the length of my own straightened hair, I look for reasons for people to pass my vehicle, ignore my ideas, and reject who I am.
The awareness is unbearable.
When God allows a specific hurt to rise to the level of unacceptably painful, it is a sure sign He is preparing to heal. I must only rest and wait for His time.
He has always rewarded my patience.

Photo by Nicole Mason via Unsplash