Thorns of Neediness

"You seek approval in your relationships with men."

Jen's words challenged my carefully orchestrated human interaction system like a toddler shaking a snow globe.

I knew she was right.

Desperation has inhibited true friendship more times than I care to think about. Thorns of neediness that dig for blood and reach for codependency.

I don't know why I do this. I finally recognize my driving need for approval. And it's starting to deactivate.

I'm still hyper-analyzing my human interaction. My subconscious seeks affirmation from my memories as equally as it seeks rejection.

I'm just glad I now know what to do.

Cut the leaves off before digging for the root.

As an example, Marandia is handling this thistle leaf very delicately:

Maradia Wright on her Youtube Channel "Survival HT"
Marandia Wright in her YouTube video: Identifying and Harvesting Wild Thistle

Marandia Wright blogs at Heart of Worship. Photo by Dane Vandeputte.

  • Dane Vandeputte

    As soon as I saw this post, Meg, I was so happy for you because I knew that it was the product of so much of God’s healing work in your life. I know there’s still hurt that remains, perhaps a lot, but I also know (with great thankfulness) that, not only does His healing work continue, He also gives you, in the midst of it all, such indescribable hope and joy. Again, I’m so thankful.

    Regarding your struggles with codependence and the need for approval, I’m pretty sure that, at least in some way, most of us can relate to this, so you’re definitely not alone. And having known very well these struggles myself, I’m all the more thankful to know that when the time comes for you to enter into the relationship that is to become your marriage (one which I know will be centered around Christ), God will continue to transform for each of you what would otherwise have been codependence into something else entirely, something beautiful … something which I like to call co-encouragement, a natural extension of a true love given to us by God. Of course, God will be working in each of you before that time comes, but once it does, I’m confident that both of you will see ever more clearly the beauty of His continuing and transforming work. And yeah, I’m probably being obvious, but hopefully there’s a little bit of encouragement in there somewhere. :)

    As usual, your metaphors are wonderfully effective. Adding Marandia’s video at the end was a nice touch. Funny thing is, I actually watched this same video only days before you posted it here. I’m guessing you found the video a long time ago, but hey, still a fun little coincidence. Oh, and I didn’t know about her blogging at Heart of Worship. Will definitely visit!

    And finally, I don’t know if you’ll see this in time, but I also wanted to let you know that I’m so excited for the relaunch of Stories of Alberian this week! It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year, but the wait has been so worth it! So, so excited!!! ^_^